$10 Worth of Sales Today

My first bad show. It's a rite of passage, right? I learned a ton, made a list of things to do differently, and added people to my email list, so it was a good experience...but I didn't sell enough to pay for lunch, let alone overhead to enter the show, compensation for my time at the show (or my husband who came with me!), or pay for the babysitter. I'm not feeling sorry for myself - more questioning my level of sacrifice. I do my art almost every night instead of spending quality time with my family. I think about making and selling art instead of giving my full attention to whatever non-art activity I'm doing, I do shows and stress out ahead of time instead of focusing on my husband and daughter. My parents exhaust themselves with babysitting and end up hiring a babysitter to help them. I fantasize about having time to get the dishes done, kick my feet up, and read a book rather than worrying about when I'll have time to watch the Squarespace tutorials and finish this website. But then I can't imagine not making something. I contemplate a full-time job other than art making once my daughter is in kindergarten and my body turns to lead and the grief makes it hard to rise from my chair. It's been my dream to make art, to help people connect to their creativity, to surround myself with beauty... Which will I regret more - the choice to pursue art at the expense of family and a more culturally respected career or to forego the art and wonder if I gave up too soon?